I do not believe in Failure - I believe in Lessons Learned

All my preparation - over in a few hours. I wish I could say at the end of the Marathon, but no, over at that point when I was forced to stop.

I will never say I quit. I had to stop. About 5 miles into the race. 1/5 of the course and I was out.

It all began with great enthusiasm. Music, people, energy. I was pumped. When I crossed the Start line I was overcome with emotion.

The first step is to start and I had accomplished that.

But slowly, the waves of people began to pass me, until about 2 miles in there was no one behind me!

I was dead last. And I did not care. I was prepared to come in last. Come in at midnight if I had to.

As I contuined the pack disappeared into the distance. The supporters faded back as they moved to the next spot to cheer on their loved one(s).

The streets of Paris were car-free and people free except for me, the lone runner, and the police, medical and clean up crews that slowly began to drive past me.

Just beyond the Paris Opera, they were taking down the signs and pulling up barricades and food stations.

Big buses, stopped and picked up volunteers, ambulance picked up medics, and vans pulled down direction signs and barricades.

I saw the pack as I rounded the Opera House, I felt good I had somehow caught up. I rounded the other end of the Opera House and everybody and everything was gone! I had no idea which street I was to take.

Traffic was being allowed in and I had to get on the sidewalk. Three or four streets branched out from here and I did not see a runner, police car or marathon banner insight anywhere. For the organizers, the race was over. I was left with no opportunity for water or even a banana If I got hurt the medics were home relaxing.

I want to live to try again, so I unpinned my number, sat down at a bus stopped and cried. I felt I wasn't given a chance. I felt I had failed - and I never say failed. For a very long and lonely, emotional ride home, I felt defeated. I felt I had been counted out.

The biggest mistake is to count me out! I did not fail, I succeeded in crossing the start line. I succeded in running 5 miles from the Arc De Triumph to just beyond the Paris Opera Garnier. I succeeded in STARTING the race. Next year I will FINISH!

Thank you all for your support and for those of you who tracked me. Wait 'til next year Vroooom Vrooom 

revving up for Paris Marathon 2020.

I participated in the 2019 Paris Marathon! Banquet List Item "Checked"!!!

I Will Always Have Paris!

Paris! Paris! Paris!

Paris has always been the dream for me.  Since childhood, I have wanted to live HERE.  Life seldom if ever, works out just the way we dream it,  but we can live our dreams!  My dream as a 5-year-old in Chicago was to live in San Francisco and Paris.  Of course, I believed I could do one first then the other with no understanding of time.  Or money. 

But still, I realized my dream!  I have lived in San Francisco for 31 years, and for nearly 9 years I split my life between an apartment in Paris and my job and apartment in San Francisco.  I created a life that provided me with the freedom to work remotely, or using the buzzword of the 1990's "telecommute".

In 2009 I gave up the Paris flat.  I would have loved to keep it but a perfect storm of high exchange rates on the dollar, a flat market for my services, and an unethical tenant made releasing the apartment a best-case solution.

Now it's 9 years later, I'm semi-retired, following my creative desires AND....... 4 years ago I returned to Paris!

Never let go of a dream.  Know that it may not happen as desired, but with persistence, it happens.  I am currently housesitting for a friend off on vacation. I'm also looking again for a permanent place of my own.  Meantime, I'm enjoying the sunshine on her terrace, the huge sunny French windows, and visiting with friends.

I passed the Eiffel Tower in my Uber the other night as the sun was starting to set. It was 9:30pm and still the most glorious sky.   I was completely aware that this was my reality even though I passed it 2 or 3 times a week. In that perfect moment I realized how lucky I am that regardless of the struggle and hard work, planning and strategizing, I was in Paris living, not in San Francisco dreaming about it.

I have a very happy life in San Francisco and in Paris.  I may not be in the apartment of my childhood dream which was facing the Arc de Triomphe from a direction that also allowed me to see the Eiffel Tower, but I am here!  I don't even want that any longer.  I love the neighborhoods where the locals live.  I love being by the Canal St. Martin in the 19th district.  I love being a piece of the fabric of Paris.  I'm not a tourist or a visitor.  I'm a part of the City.  I'm living my dream!

Live is a Banquet and I'm feasting on my dreams!

Living My Banquet List - Edinburgh Scotland

I took a business trip to Scotland in 2011 and I've been aching to return!  I fell in love with the country, but especially, Edinburgh.  Everything about it resonated in my spirit.  For the first time since childhood, I debated if I wanted to live somewhere other than Paris.  Born in Chicago, IL, I always wanted to live in San Francisco and Paris.  In 1986 I moved to San Francisco, and in 2001 I got an apartment in Paris.  I decided I would eventually transition fully to Paris - until I visited Edinburgh.

That's the beauty of a Banquet List.  You can go up and down the list sampling new experiences, or having second helpings of something you truly enjoyed.

The secret is to seize the opportunity when it comes to you.  Not stick it on a "Bucket List".  Bucket Lists are forgotten dreams.  Banquet Lists are magic moments of experiences and plans.

A Moment of Magic 

My son's Banquet List item was always to become a Flight Attendant.  He wanted to see the world.  He has worked with private charters and commercial airlines, has been to nearly every country and as a result, is feasting on life!

He just got assigned a flight to Edinburgh and called me up.  Usually, it was to rub it in, but this time he wanted me there.  It will only be for twenty-seven hours, but that makes it even more special for us.  He has heard me talk about Scotland so often he wanted me to be part of his first experience there.

See, if this were a Bucket List and not a Banquet List, my response would have been to say twenty-seven hours is too short.  Let's plan it for when we can spend more time there.  Considering he is married with three daughters and lives in a different State, I know it would never happen.

But when you live your Banquet List, you Carpe Diem - Seize the Day - and you have experiences filled with magic.

Remember:  In the words of Auntie Mame 

"Live is a Banquet and most poor fools are starving to death!   LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!